On 47 Discord, YOLD 3168, The People's Republic of Ames became advised of the presence of the Dave Matthew's Band very near to The People's Republic. Most people think this group is a fairly popular band, especially with college students, but they are not aware of the real truth about this horrible terror.
This foul beast belches forth the most horrible of noise, attracting hoards of nocuous fanatics of all types, including the dread vermin, the Frat Boy and Sorority Girl. These poor creatures heap upon these evilmakers such praise that you'd think when the band played the land flowed with milk and honey, instead of filling with noxious vapours. While pity must be had for the poor uninformed, the perpetrators of this evil could not be allowed to remain.
Therefore, on the evening of 47 Discord His Most Sublime Duckyness issued a proclaimation, ordering the evil of Dave Matthew's to vacate The People's Republic by sun-rise. To make sure the proclaimation stuck, His Most Sublime Duckyness personally performed an appropriate banishment right from the Necronomicon. While the night is young as of this report, our agents in the field report that the order is expected to be followed, and our fair land free of this evil by morn.
Update: 48 Discord. Our work has paid off, as our agents in the field tell us that the DMBites have left our fair city, and the core of evil itself is all the way in Omaha, Nebraska. The People have been victorious again!
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